Making
Light of Making Love
by Wynn Free
I perceive life as energy flow in a body. This energy is part of our soul manifesting into the physical. To some degree, we all have areas of our bodies where the energy is not flowing. When energy doesnıt flow, our experience of life is empty, lonely, and painful. And when the energy doesnıt flow in a particular area of our body for a long enough period of time we get depressed and diseased. Eastern esoteric philosophy mapped out these energy flows in the body into seven crucial areas called chakras. The root chakra location starts at the base of the spine and the crown chakra is at the top of the skull. Each chakra corresponds to a certain quality in our lives and when the energy is flowing in a particular chakra, the quality of that chakra is activated successfully. And when all the chakras are energetically activated, one is in complete balance with the flow of life.
The approximate locations of the seven chakras and the areas of our lives, which they impact, are listed below:
o Root chakra - Base of spine...relates to our connection with the earth and self preservation-Raw sexual and creative energy.
o Sex chakra - mid-way between belly button and pubic bone...pertains to how we feel about and see ourselves as female or male.
o Solar plexus chakra - center, under ribs...relates to personal power, will, autonomy.
o Heart chakra - relates to compassion and empathy.
o Throat chakra -Throat...relates to communi-cation and self expression.
o Forehead chakra - the third eye. Intuition and precognitive psychic ability.
o Crown chakra - connection with the etheric field interconnecting all life.
In those areas, as defined by the chakras, where the life energy is weak, the qualities described above associated with the specific chakra will not be developed or will operate deficiently. When we associate with another who has the energy flowing in an area where we are blocked we have the opportunity to pick up their energy empathetically and balance our own energy where we lack. As we go through our day, we are constantly interacting energetically with other beings and sharing these chakra energies. In Eastern Hinduism, this interaction and balancing of life energy is called tantra.
Close personal relationships impact chakra balancing the most profoundly and sex has the most immediate and dramatic effect on our energy flows. In an ideal interaction, two lovers can bring their entire chakra system into total balance leaving one in a total state of bliss and balance. Unfortunately most people donıt reach this level. There are an infinite number of possibilities of energetic interchanges in an intimate encounter and I would like to enumerate some of the ways we limit our potential for a full experience. Next month, I will give some suggestions of ways to turn the sexual experience around to have the beautiful intimate connection we crave.
In the areas where energy is not flowing in our energetic system, we feel need. The need drives us to look for another to balance the need. We all have the inner ancient memory that it is possible to balance this need, via the close interaction with another being. And so, two people approach each other with the idea of a sexual interchange to balance their "need". Often the need is not in the same area. For example if a man has an energetic imbalance in the area of his 1st chakra - sex, and the woman has en energetic imbalance in the area of her 4th chakra - love and compassion, itıs obvious the misunderstandings which can occur as each person tries to balance their area of need with the other. And since each person is completely unique there are an infinite number of possibilities here.
And to make matters even more difficult, most of us are conditioned to never show weakness, so we must approach the other person as if we didnıt have any need. We are also conditioned to judge anotherıs weakness, so when we perceive their need, we find fault with them. So you can see the dilemma. We want to have our area of need balanced by another, on one hand, but we canıt show our own weakness and we judge their area of weakness. And from this origination we expect to find romance, experience great sex, get in balance, and have a great relationship. Itıs no wonder so many relationships fail. If this sounds like a familiar cycle to you, be sure and pick up Januaryıs issue where Iıll reveal some of the ways Iıve learned to turn this around.
Making Light of Making Love Part 2
Last month I reviewed some of the difficulties that are encountered in having a successful intimate relationship.
Recapitulating, from my experience, the greatest obstacles to successful intimacy are the judgments we place on our own needs and the needs of our partners. The world has conditioned us that we are not supposed to have need. Need correlates with weakness so we’ve learned to put on an image, which will disguise our need, and before long the need goes subconscious and we are not even aware that that’s what’s occurred. And then you come together with another with the idea of having intimacy and after your great "one night stand" or however many nights, and even with a marriage commitment, it’s easy to end up with contempt, resentment, and anger as all these suppressed needs surface. What we feel as desire and lust on the base level is part of our genetic programming, but on the deepest level it is outward expression of the underlying need for communion with another. So all month, I’ve been contemplating how I could possible resolve this very common dilemma in 600 words or less, the length of one of my columns.
Actually I answered an email query about a week ago and realized that I had come up with an answer. In simple English;
PERCEIVE THE OTHER AS PART OF YOURSELF.
PERCEIVE THE OTHER AS PART OF GOD ON LOAN TO YOU.
Or in the simplest terms: THAT’S PART OF GOD IN YOUR BEDROOM.
Once you can perceive the object of your affections in this manner, everything else falls into place. The relationship becomes sacred, the encounter becomes sacramental, and each persons needs are balanced without paying the devil’s price. The devil’s price being the incurring of obligation and control, i.e. I did this for you, and you owe me, which is a normal pattern for intimate exchange.
Now it does take two to lift the energy up out of the low country. If one person is taking the lead and the other is taking advantage, it’s probably not going to change. But one person will have to take the initiative and test the waters if there’s any possibility of transformation. If your partner responds, you’re on the right track and bliss is coming soon because now you can satisfy each other’s needs from the perspective of one expression of God loving another expression of God and before long you and your lover will generate an energy bubble around yourselves which can persist all day long. It’s an energy others can feel like in the song "Everybody loves a lover" because the initial thrust of lust has been transformed to higher octave and ultimately leads to divine connection or communion.
And so we solved it. We can throw all the self-help, relationship books away. If you have found that the kinds of things I discussed in this article are familiar patterns to you and you and your lover really want to transcend the lower aspect of sexual exchange, try reading this article out loud to each other and see if that might catalyze a shift of perception which is the first step in transforming a shift in experience. If you both have the same vision and intention to make this kind of interaction occur, you will succeed. And once you make it work, you’ll have much more than just better sex because the transformation that occurs in your energetic field will carry over to the rest of your life. There it is – 596 words. See you next month.
