Making Light of Making Love - Part 2

by Wynn Free

Last month I reviewed some of the difficulties that are encountered in having a successful intimate relationship.

Recapitulating, from my experience, the greatest obstacles to successful intimacy are the judgments we place on our own needs and the needs of our partners. The world has conditioned us that we are not supposed to have need. Need correlates with weakness so we’ve learned to put on an image, which will disguise our need, and before long the need goes subconscious and we are not even aware that that’s what’s occurred. And then you come together with another with the idea of having intimacy and after your great "one night stand" or however many nights it takes, it’s easy to end up with contempt, resentment, and anger as all these suppressed needs surface. What we feel as desire and lust on the base level is part of our genetic programming, but on the deepest level it is outward expression of the underlying need for communion with another. So all month, I’ve been contemplating how I could possible resolve this very common dilemma in 600 words or less, the length of one of my columns.

Actually I answered an email query about a week ago and realized that I had come up with an answer. In simple English;

PERCEIVE THE OTHER AS PART OF YOURSELF.

PERCEIVE THE OTHER AS PART OF GOD ON LOAN TO YOU.

Or in the simplest terms: THAT’S PART OF GOD IN YOUR BEDROOM.

Once you can perceive the object of your affections in this manner, everything else falls into place. The relationship becomes sacred, the encounter becomes sacramental, and each persons needs are balanced without paying the devil’s price. The devil’s price being the incurring of obligation and control, i.e. I did this for you, and you owe me, which is a normal pattern for intimate exchange.

Now it does take two to lift the energy up out of the low country. If one person is taking the lead and the other is taking advantage, it’s probably not going to change. But one person will have to take the initiative and test the waters if there’s any possibility of transformation. If your partner responds, you’re on the right track and bliss is coming soon because now you can satisfy each other’s needs from the perspective of one expression of God loving another expression of God and before long you and your lover will generate an energy bubble around yourselves which can persist all day long. It’s an energy others can feel like in the song "Everybody loves a lover" because the initial thrust of lust has been transformed to higher octave and ultimately leads to divine connection or communion.

And so we solved it. We can throw all the self-help, relationship books away. If you have found that the kinds of things I discussed in this article are familiar patterns to you and you and your lover really want to transcend the lower aspect of sexual exchange, try reading this article out loud to each other and see if that might catalyze a shift of perception which is the first step in transforming a shift in experience. If you both have the same vision and intention to make this kind of interaction occur, you will succeed. And once you make it work, you’ll have much more than just better sex because the transformation that occurs in your energetic field will carry over to the rest of your life. There it is – 596 words. See you next month