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Your Relationships: Sexual and


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Monday Call

Host: Wynn Free with Terry Brown and Daphne Karandanis

Audio Link -
Transcribed by Connie O'Brien

Edited by Terry Brown, Valerie Hawes and David Masty
Formatted and sent by Gary Brownlee


Wynn:  This is Wynn; this is April 8, 2013. We were announcing a conference on sex, relationships, contracts, Grace and karma but everyone wanted to talk about the weather. Weíre letting you know that in Half Moon Bay itís very windy. [People give the weather from different states.]


Let me mute you guys because we have a topic. We put some of this silliness on. Sometimes Daphne talks about this and we have sometimes different points of view, which is okay. Iím going to have Daphne give her point of view tonight if she stays on the line. Thereís a wonderful expression of joy and community when we get silly like that. To me, that is the expression of spirituality in 3D.


Weíre only doing that because so many of us who have been coming on these calls youíre working out your stuff. Do you know that? Iím learning how this works as it goes. We all have stuff; you canít be in this realm and not have stuff. Itís an exercise of Grace in action when you start releasing your stuff. It doesnít have to express itself as silliness. Some of you could partake, but you were too self-conscious to say something.


The opposite of the silliness and the fun is the sacredness. We swing back and forth between both things often because it is all things. Being spiritual does not mean being holier-than-thou; it means being loving at its most fundamental aspect. Itís great that we can be so loving with each other and feel that repartee, even if itís silly; itís still loving.


Iím sure those of you that are listening on the Internet were feeling it and those of you that are listening on the replays are feeling it. It cheers you up; it says ďWow! This is fun.Ē Itís not easy for many of us to have fun in these days where so many things are happening in the world that are serious and they are serious.


I donít know if you listened to Carla and me on Saturday, but the Ra group was talking about how they engineered a Big Foot that was resistant to radioactivity that lives underground so in case we all destroy each other by radioactivity, by nuclear weapons, they have preserved the DNA in that being so we can continue our evolution by going through lots of, how would we say it? Terra-forming, waiting for things to evolve again, so thereís another shot at graduating this realm, I suppose.


There are interesting questions to ask about that; there are some conflicting stories. It came through the Ra material that if you donít graduate this realm you go to another planet in another star system to continue. The other seems to be that Ra has engineered a Big Foot that lives underground thatís carrying the human DNA imprint so we can continue.


Iím not sure which is true; maybe theyíre both true. I donít know the answer to that one.


Terry:  You know, just to insert something: there is a story from Russia that the mayor of a Russian town discovered a Big Foot and tamed it and had it live in his house, in the mayorís house. When they would have some kind of a celebration they had a prize. The Big Foot was a lady Big Foot. The prize was for the man to spend a night with the Big Foot.


Wynn:  Terry, are you trying to get us ready for our talk on sex?


Terry:  Well I figured it kind of wedged its way in here with Big Foot and sex.


Just briefly: the Big Foot had six children. The Big Foot took the first two down to the cold water, to the river, to wash them. The kids werenít adaptable to the cold water and they drowned or died. The next four were taken from the Big Foot right after birth.


So thatís an interesting story. It has also been said that they got some DNA and analyzed and it and the Big Foot is a combination of human and alien. Thatís what I heard.


Wynn:  Thank you. Let me get to the topic here because I could probably talk for two hours on this topic.


Part of this topic has to do with energy exchange between beings in the physical realm, energy exchange and how that is balanced. For many people, part of their development, part of their growth, is involved experiencing energy exchange. Thereís a template between a man and a woman in terms of energy that exists for eons. The template goes something like this:


The woman nurtures the man through intimacy, and the man supports the house. Then they have children and the man supports the children and the family and the woman maintains the house. That is the template; although in todayís world itís not operating that well. Iím sure some people are still working it and itís working; it gives people a reason to be together. It gives them a purpose: to bring new children into the world. Of course, how does it look physiologically between a man and a woman?


Iím going to be talking about men and women. Of course, Iím more of an expert at men than women, but Iíll try to say how I think it works. I probably had lifetimes as a woman at one point or another, so thereís some kind of cellular memory there.


A man has a physiological need to release. When I say this, Iím not talking about all men; Iím talking about the standard template. In specific, there can be lots and lots of variations. If you donít fit this description, itís okay. But in general, men have an intense physiological need to release. If they donít do it, whether they do it by themselves or with someone else, if they donít do it they get dysfunctional; they get headaches; they get pains in their shoulders; they feel unworthy, for some. Again, not everyone, but this is the template.


The woman: the template is nurturing. So you get this man that has this need for release and you get this woman who has her normal function as being nurturing and they come together. They both have something that the other needs. When they come together, there is usually some kind of unconscious, unspoken contract. Itís not usually said; because itís not spoken both people donít understand the terms of their agreement.


So they come together and they donít really realize theyíre making agreements at that point. The come together and they have a connection. The man feels good and the woman is nurturing. But then the man is off and the woman is still nurturing. Oftentimes the woman feels empty. She feels like she gave nurturing to this man and heís disappeared. She really expects that even though itís not an explicit agreement, the man is going to be giving back. He is going to be spending money on her. Heís going to be taking her out. Heís going to be marrying her, in the older model and theyíre going to bring up a family.


But, at least she expects something in return for nurturing the guy. If the guy does not realize thatís the case, then at some point itís like heís not honoring the unspoken contract. At some point you end up with the situation where the woman feels completely hurt and abandoned, because this guy isnít giving back. Sheís given her nurturing to him and heís not giving back. Heís off with someone else, or heís just gone wherever heís gone and thereís hurt.


In that situation I can say that when people are younger they donít realize the implications of these energy exchanges. It comes to the level of experience; whether theyíre promiscuous or whether they have a girlfriend, some people intuitively honor these expectations, even though they donít think about it consciously; and others donít. Then it becomes a game of manipulation; this is where it goes really bad, where the woman is holding back her ability to nurture because the man [is not giving to her] and the manís nurture is slowly falling apart.


I think most of you can relate to what Iím talking about. Iím using a man and a woman. It doesnít have to be a man and a woman, because it could be two men or two women. If theyíre having a real relationship, usually one of them has the opposite. In fact the Elohim have mentioned this about gay relationships where many times people had lots of lifetimes as a man, then they reincarnate as a woman, but they still have male energy and vice-versa.


The problem is theyíre in a certain body but their energy-body is still the energy of the opposite sex. There becomes still, the same dynamic usually. Of course, again Iím talking about generalities. The important thing here is, even if you donít fit into the generality, which many of you donít, particularly in this group, are you bound? What is the contract? What is the level of expectation of the person youíre with? And what is your level of expectation with them? Are you fulfilling their level of expectation? Because if youíre not, then things are going to go south and itís going to end up as one of those relationships that has resentment. People donít talk to each other after itís over. You never made a friendship with the person; you were using them. They were using you, because they wanted security. You wanted sex. When it comes to a close you never were friends.


Now, what is a relationship in Grace? This is not so easy. By the way, the distinctions Iím making donít just work for intimate relationships; they can very easily work for friendships. People think, ďAs a friend Iíll be there for them; I am there for them. Iím calling them all the time. How come theyíre never calling me? I want something in return. Theyíre not giving it to me.Ē


Sometimes you have someone who you think is your friend and then you have a really deep need of some sort. You call them and theyíre not there for you. Sometimes people hate to call their friends when they have really deep need, because if that person lets them down at that moment, they probably will not consider them a friend anymore. Theyíll be hurt. So, sometimes people donít ask for things when they really need them. Itís complicated, because thereís not a rule about this. But, the point is: what are the contracts? What are the unconscious contracts people make with each other?


I remember my parents. My father always used to talk about, ďHe owes me a favor.Ē Obviously thatís not Grace. As soon as youíre talking about, thinking about ďhe owes me a favorĒ, itís like youíre stacking up things youíre doing for someone else.


In your mind, you have this idea of an obligation that one day theyíre going to give you back something. They might, because people operate that way. If they donít, youíre going to feel screwed. How do we try to lift some of these energies out of this give-and-take karma into Grace? It can be done, but youíve got to be brutally honest with how it is.


Itís okay if you have a karmic relationship. If you have one where thereís a level of expectation on both sides, make sure that youíre perfectly fulfilling the levels of obligation. Even though itís not a Grace relationship, it cancels itself out if everything is being fulfilled. Very few people have a Grace relationship with their landlord. But if you fulfill the obligation, youíre paying the rent every month, then it cancels out and you have a place to live.


There are lots of places in your life where you have to have relationships of obligation; you have to in this realm. If youíre aiming for spiritual connection you have to be able to have some relationships of Grace, because that will keep your spirits lifted.


You may notice that we offer a lot of stuff, I, Terry, Daphne, that we donít charge for. Itís given freely; itís given with absolutely no obligation. When people have been touched we get some of the most beautiful emails. I better not say their name, but somebody said, ďYou have become my family. I listen to all your calls.Ē Someone thatís not actively saying ďhelloĒ to everybody, thatís in the background, but they have connected energetically and are feeling support. Then they said, ďI think I got a really good job because of you guys.Ē Then they sent us $200. Thank you. You know who you are if youíre listening.


That is Grace, because they gave back out of the pureness of their heart and not because there was any obligation, because weíre not charging for this. The bulk of what we give, we donít charge for. Occasionally even when I charge for something, we usually have it: ďSo, hereís a suggested donation, hereís a minimum donation. If you canít afford the minimum donation email me and weíll give it to you for free.Ē


This is stuff that I know can affect whether someone might graduate this realm or not. How can I sit here in good consciousness and feel good and say, ďIf you give me this much money youíll graduate this realm. Weíre having a $300 fee for thisÖĒ and otherwise not give you anything.


That doesnít mean we canít have a $300 weekend if we choose to, because to do that it creates the opportunity for people to come together physically to meet each other. If you canít afford it, you can still have the free stuff we do on the conference calls.


One thing Iíve decided. I donít know if you guys have ever thought about this but, one thing about creating these kinds of energies and relationships on the conference call is that when you lift your energy on these calls, youíre lifting it in your home; in your environment. When you go to an expensive weekend somewhere, you lift your energies at wherever place you are. Then you go back home and somehow you have to integrate it back into your environment. But here we are right with you in your home lifting the vibration there. When the call ends youíre still in the energy of it; you donít leave and walk out and go home; you are home.


In some ways, thereís great advantage to doing a live event. To me, the advantage of a live event if I go to a city and do something, is that people in that city get to meet each other in the physical. Then they start to network with each other and that is important. But to do live events, we need enough money to be able to travel, to rent rooms, to do all that stuff. Weíre not there yet. There has to be enough people to come that we charge enough for it so it covers the expenses. But people are still meeting each other on the line.


Going back to relationships and Grace:


The key is to make everything so balanced that thereís no residual. If you want to take it a step further, we are all needy in our own ways. Men are needy in their ways and women are needy in their ways. If youíre really into loving someone, you fulfill their need out of free-giving and care; both ways, in which case the relationship then has gratitude in it instead of obligation.


Those two things are both flip sides of the coin: obligation is the give-and-take in 3D: I did this for you, you did this for me, I gave you this and you gave me that. If you think about how gratitude feels, thereís no keeping count; you just feel it and itís a Divine quality, gratitude. Itís different than appreciation and itís different than acknowledgement. Itís an inner quality that just wells up inside of you that you feel.


Iím grateful that you guys come onto this call and Iím grateful that we have touched you. Iím grateful that there are people all over the world, a small group whose lives are changing as a result of what weíre doing. Iím grateful that some of you have picked up on this energy and are changing.


The key is: can you move one of these obligatory relationships into gratitude? Sometimes you canít; sometimes you just have to keep it balanced by fulfilling the other personís expectations and them fulfilling your expectations.


In relationships between a man and a woman there is something else thatís taking place. Again I say a man and a woman; I mean with two people that are involved with each other thereís an energy exchange. Every time we have an energy exchange we attract people that are different than ourselves and that have different holograms than we do. If two people have very close holograms, they have a hard time polarizing and having energy exchange back and forth. We need someone thatís different.


What happens is; as we connect with that person, we are educating our hologram. In the way they balance us there is whatever physical thing happens, but then thereís the energetic thing that happens. Their energies are opposite or different than ours and when they merge with ours, which is what happens in intimacy, we get an experience of a certain kind of balance inside of ourselves.


Of course, the first time you experience that itís called falling in love and you just want that person and you want to be around them. Usually, it doesnít last, because it goes into obligation and expectation after the romance is over.


If you can manage to keep that energy going then youíre never going to leave them anyway, because the energy is going, but the energy is teaching you how to expand your hologram; the duality of yin and yang. Youíre learning about it. Just like when weíre on these calls and we experience this great loving energy from the other side and from each other we are learning how to expand our holograms. In this case, weíre doing it without necessarily needing another person to balance us.


As you learn that you integrate it and you start operating, integrating the two sides of yourself, the male and the female and you become complete. You lose your sexual identity and the need for someone else becomes less. But at a certain point in your life, itís hard to deny that need, itís so overwhelming. You have not learned how to integrate it, so you have to experience it with another person.


Let me see if Daphne is here. Daphne and I have discussions about this and sometimes we have different points of view. She thinks in terms of outer form; I think I can say that. I think she would agree with that. So for her the traditional idea of marriage is more important. For me, if youíre raising a family and youíre in society I think marriage is important. But if youíre experiencing life, I think that marriage is less important. But it is important to keep the karmic patterns balanced so you donít incur obligations and you donít hurt people.


One person that was quite wise said a long time ago and I never forgot it: if youíre not going to have permanent relationships with someone, if itís not going to be a life commitment and you know that even at the beginning, the best way to ensure not to get karma is to leave them better than you found them. In which case, they canít complain.


What does leaving them better mean? It means introducing them to a new set of friends; it means having them be financially better. It means being their friend even after the intimate part of the relationship ends, so they feel like theyíre not just being discarded.


Let me see: Daphne, are you there?


Daphne:  I am here, Wynn.


Wynn:  I promised I was going to give you a moment. We have about four or five minutes. Would you like to share anything about what I said?


Daphne:  Itís a very complex topic. In terms of my views on it, itís not that Iím so wed, so to speak, to outer form. Itís just that in my own life, in my own studies, in my own experience, I am seeing very clearly that there are Divine archetypes. There are Divine underpinnings to the structures, for example, of 3D.


I think that what we are seeing in our culture with the re-definition of marriage, with people in serial monogamy, people in homosexual, people in transgendered, people in all these alternative lifestyles situations, we are seeing basically the implosion of the format of culture and of human beings relating to each other.


Basically, our world as weíve known it cannot continue to function. Iím talking on an archetypal, on an energeticóif you look at a building for example:


If you look at the cornerstones of the building, you look at the foundations of the building architecturally speaking and you start taking out the foundational pieces of that building, youíre going to get to a point where the structural integrity of the building is compromised and itís in imminent danger of collapsing. I think we have arrived there with our culture in terms of re-definition of relation to each other, in terms of re-definition of the need for society to care for people, of the need for honesty, of the need for integrity.


This goes way beyond the sexual expression between men and women. I think whatís really core here is absolute paramount integrity: what is the way that we are being called as human beings to treat each other? This goes back to Christ teachings; we are being called to treat another human being the way we ourselves would want to be treated.


If you look at that, do you want to be objectified? Do you want to be looked at solely as a person who makes money or solely as a person who provides sexual gratification? Do you want to become a commodity for another person? Do you want to be treated the way that your bank treats you? Do you want to be treated the way that so many of our employers treat us? Thereís a de-humanizing element in our culture that is grossly pervasive.


I say sinful: sinful not in the old biblical sense of sinful, but sinful in falling from Divine order. Sinful means to fall from what is Divine, the Divine architecture, the Divine placement of human beings in relation to each other, in relation to family, in relationship to culture, in relationship to the arts, in relationship to what is good, what is virtuous, what is beautiful; it is very precise.


You know of Dr. Emoto with his water experiment: when you meditate and put love on the water you change the molecular crystalline structure of that water. When you put hate or anger or envy or lustóweíre talking vibrationally here. When we allow ourselves to capitulate to our lower nature and we all have it of course, we all have to work with it, but when we allow ourselves to be run by it, when we allow ourselves to doówe always have choices.


We always have the choice of doing the higher thing or the lower thing. The higher thing is to do the right thing, the good thing, the noble thing; the thing that when you look back youíll say to yourself, ďIím glad I did that; it makes me feel good in my heart.Ē That choice always comes back to us.


When you talked about you have these biological urges and drives I certainly understand that and I also know as an artist and as an at-one-time pretty serious athlete, that self-discipline and restraint are really critical. There is virtue; there is virtue.


We live in a culture which has pretty much tossed this away, because we are living in a culture where we are supposed to have every single whim instantaneously gratified; thatís considered Ďgreatí. I would say maybe thatís not so great. Maybe itís better when youíre uncertain, to wait. When youíre uncertain, donít allow yourself to get pushed off-center; hold your ground.


Oftentimes, weíre faced with situations where people are pressuring us or theyíre bullying us. Or out of fear, out of urgency, everything is heightened in terms of speed; weĎre expected to be online on our iPads, on our phones 24/7. There is something thatís very de-humanizing about this. Itís a way of controlling human beings and making them not human beings; making them basically automatons.


I would say, ďHave the courage to pull back from that and to say, ĎNo, stop!íĒ You decide; you be the architect of when youíre going to be available to be on the phone. You be the architect of how often you allow someone to talk to you. Allow for yourself to know the way that you want to interact with someone.


Hold that vision; hold the truth of the higher way of acting, the higher way of interacting; the interchange of integrity with a person. It can be the person at the Starbucks; it can be the person at the gas station; it can be your sister; your brother, your in-laws, it doesnít matter. Wynn jokes about me being a snob. Iíve got nothing against Dennyís. You know something? Choose what is nurturing; choose what is beautiful; choose what is good.


The arts have been pretty much castigated in our culture. Theyíve been kicked out of our public schools, the first things to go. Thereís been an attack on things that would refine the spirit, because the arts remind people that they are Divine. When we lose the arts, when we lose what is beautiful, when we lose what is refined, when we lose what is good, when we lose classical educationÖ

I was a student of classical Greek. Valerie was a student of Latin. Weíve lost these things to a great extent in the culture.


Only smaller and smaller numbers of people have access to the old wisdom traditions, and they are extremely valuable. They are the bedrock; they are a foundation. The reason that they have existed and survived for thousands of years is because they are foundational and they do give people power.


I would say to people, ďSeek out your foundations; seek out what is true; seek out that which has endured for thousands and thousands of years.Ē We live in a time which is temporal; we live in a time which is ephemeral, we live in a time that wants to give you 564 channels. I watch pretty much three channels: I watch Turner Classic Movies because I love old films and there are no commercials. I watch PBS, because Charlie Rose has some interesting people on there. I watch BBC America; but those are my own preferences.


Be selective about what it is youíll let into your space. You donít have to be a garbage disposal for everything of the mass and the crass culture. Iím not making judgments; if something resonates for you thereís nothing wrong with going to McDonaldís.


But you know something? Thereís nothing wrong with going to the beautiful little Chinese Restaurant thatís owned by the mother and father and theyíve been there for 26 years and theyíve made a place of love. In fact, I would say itís a greater service to go and support those people. Support your local merchants that are bringing true value and true service to the community. Support people that are coming from their hearts.


Rather than supporting these huge agribusiness and the genetically modified crops and the global trans-nationals, as much as possible try to get away from that stuff. Those corporations do not have your interests or your communityís interests or your childrenís issues or the landís interests at heart. You know, Sri and Kira, who Wynnís been in communication with, have a center down in Guatemala.


I was just reading their newsletter tonight; they have a little video. They were saying that this month, April, is a very strong energetic demarcation. Well, demarcation may be too hard a word; basically the theme of their talk was, Who Will Have Dominion over Your Life? Will it be those with whom you have a heart connection or those with whom you have a gut connection?óthe gut meaning the solar plexus, meaning power-struggle, dominion over others.


I would really recommend checking it out. Itís Sri and Kira, Tosa. You can check them out. You can Google them; itís a very interesting five minute clip. Itís a call to stay centered in your heart. Also, it was interesting because they talked about wisdom and love. Love without wisdom is weak; love without wisdom cannot hold its center. People can prey upon a person who is too openly loving, because if theyíre not centered in their wisdom they cannot hold their ground. Wisdom without love can be harsh.


We are called to balance the love and the wisdom at this time. They were saying that as we looked towards the outer events and my intuition is looking towards whatís happening in Korea right now, with the Pluto station happening on the 12th of April. Iíve had a lot of energy around that date. I think that weíre going to start to see a polarization of outer events. We will see there are many people that are still operating very much at the dominion level, the gut level.


This truly is a time; itís conscious; itís courageous. Itís a conscious courage; Ďcoeur-ageí; itís from the French and it means Ďthe heartí. We are being asked to step into the Ďwisdom of the heartí and to align the head and the heart and to stand our ground in the wisdom of the head and the heart.


This is truly I believe what we are being asked to do; this is the Christ consciousness. This is the Ďsolarí consciousness: sol. Sol and soul, meaning the Sun, going back to Ra, going back to Carlaís work, going back to David Wilcockís work, going back to Cayceís work and this has been with us since time immemorial. We truly are at a very, very pivotal moment in Earthís and humanityís consciousness. God bless you all. Thank you so much.


Wynn:  Thank you for sharing. Daphne and I approach things from opposite sides of the hologram. Whereas I tend to approach things from no-form and then give it form, she tends to approach things from form and then find the no-form underneath the form. I donít know if Iím saying that right, but thatís how I get it.


Terry, do you want to say anything on this topic?


Terry:  I just really appreciate Daphneís point of view; I think she said a lot of good things there.


Wynn:  Yes. Thank you so much. Itís good that Daphne is sharing from her conscious self. One of the things about Daphne is that as a channel, obviously, she has done extraordinary things. A lot of times people that are channels feel like their human side is disregarded and itís really important to express their human side.


When I was reading about Edgar Cayce, that was one of the things about Edgar Cayce; that he felt like he wasnít expressing his human side. If you look at David Wilcock, he really didnít want to express himself as a channel to the public; he wanted to express his human side, his intellect. Itís really nice that Daphne has come in tonight and shared her human side and I congratulate her for doing so.


Of course, we are over the limit; itís 7:10. Again, I really want to recommend getting, if you havenít listened to it, the Law of One Made Simple Session IV and you get the other three. But Session IV was absolutely amazing; the energy was amazing; the information was amazing; the rapport that Carla and I have in looking at the information was amazing. Iíve gotten lots of emails from people whom it really impacted.


Wynn:  Weíll see you next time. Thank you.

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